Narcissist Recovery Coaching is a niche solution designed by Carmel Consultants. Narcissist Recovery Coaching is Divorce and Custody Coaching for worst case scenarios.
The following information is for people who are caught in the middle of a divorce or post divorce where children are being exploited for money and control by one parent.
- Why do I need a Divorce Coach if I have shared children with my “ex”?
The short answer:
Because an experienced Divorce Coach can save you from horrific worst-case scenarios. The heartache and loss that often occurs in divorce can be dramatically reduced through assessment and coaching. Divorcing with shared children is a monster size open door for abusers and bullies to wreak havoc in your life. The legal system and the courts are a Disneyland Family Court Adventure for those who exploit children for control, money, and sadistic narcissistic fuel. Twenty-five million families in the U.S. are torn apart by parental alienation, which is both child abuse and a tragedy for the bullied parent. - Please keep reading.
Hiring an attorney to solve the problems of divorce is only a small part of the landscape ahead for parents going through a divorce. It’s critically important to understand that Attorney’s operate from directives. They are not therapists, coaches, counselors or educators. Attorneys are paid to represent your interests by taking your legal directives and then navigate the legal system and courts in an effort to hopefully get court orders and judgements to achieve “what you want.” This occurs, while your ex-spouse does the same, in opposition to you. Your attorney doesn’t come up with the legal directives, . . you do. You are responsible to come up with the legal directives and know what you want. This can be extremely difficult for many people, because emotions and fears can cloud ones thinking. In addition, the existing “ex” relationship, regardless of the broken trust can be a confusing and still controlling aspect in your decision making. Making the shift from doing what’s best for your family, not wanting to alienate the ex, while at the same time being forced into a battle of win-lose courtroom decisions . . . can feel like insanity. For the dedicated family man or family woman, this battle and win-lose system makes no sense. During this state of cognitive dissonance, it’s easy to be deceived and manipulated into making decisions that sabotage your own best interest and the best interest of your children. Not understanding how things work and how devious some people really are, can result in deep lifelong regrets. Empathy and wishful thinking have to be filtered through strong analysis and militant decision making in a divorce. Your attorney is unable to help you with any of this. Attorney’s practice law. And this is why pre- and post-divorced parents with children need divorce coaching.
If you have a life, children, income and assets, and are going through a divorce, . . . unless you are a narcissist and seasoned divorce pro, you are going to need help. You will need help knowing what to do and what not to do. When, how, and why to do it. A short list of “what to do’s” include: boundary setting, evidence and documentation processes, communication strategies, helping the kids adjust, identifying and avoiding schemes and baited traps, knowing when to file police reports, etc. etc.
Not knowing how things really work can translate into big hurts tomorrow. Hindsight is 20/20. The deadly pitfalls of divorce with children are always connected in some way to dealing with “crazy” ex-spouses. Knowing how to assess and handle the pre- and post-divorce “relationship” with your ex-spouse will help you protect yourself and your children.
My name is Rich Miller. I specialize in helping my clients develop strategies and plans to avoid worst case scenarios in divorce. If you have children together, and your spouse demonstrates the red flag behaviors of a narcissist, you are going to need the help of a divorce coach specializing in narcissist schemes and parental alienation. Parental Alienation is Child Abuse. All Parental Alienators are narcissists. They are driven by narcissistic thinking. All of them. Period, no qualifiers. The divided and targeted parent will in every case have their hands full protecting themselves, their freedoms, assets, resources, and sanity, . . . while at the same time have to fight to protect their children and maintain or recover their parental rights. “Unfolding events” can be so shocking and traumatizing that it paralyzes the targeted parent. This is what you want to avoid.
My epic story of post-divorce bullying and parental alienation has multiple layers of brilliant deception and set ups, combined with legal and government agency involvement. While getting my education in hard knocks and devastating low blows, I decided to translate my experience into a blessing and benefit to others. My business card now reads; “Narcissist Recovery Coach” – because I am on a mission to protect children, families, and good parents from being bullied, abused, exploited and destroyed. I call myself a “Narcissist Recovery Coach” instead of simply a Divorce Coach, because I am a specialist in worst case scenario recovery, and Narcissism is the crux of the issue in all worst-case scenario divorces. One narcissistic parent in a divorce will wreak total havoc in the lives of an entire family. I am dedicated to helping parents protect their legal freedoms and parental rights during and after a divorce. The legal system and state agencies are only part of the problem. Good legal representation is only part of the solution. The most important issue in dealing with a wrecking ball ex-spouse is knowing how to deal with the person and how to protect yourself from being set up. You have to protect yourself in order to protect and parent your children.
The fact is, no matter how friendly and amicable you think your divorce and shared custody process will be, I can help you plan for the future. I am passionate about protecting good parents and the precious children they love. With my coaching support you can avoid making the same mistakes I made. I can’t change the system, but I can help one parent at a time as a consultant and coach.
How do you know if you’re dealing with a scheming narcissist bully and child abuser?
Answer the following questions. If your answer is “YES” to a cluster of the following questions, - you are going to need help from a qualified Divorce Coach.
- You feel emotionally overwhelmed and in distress over the recent and ongoing events.
- There has been ongoing chaos and confusion in the relationship.
- It’s hard to make heads or tails of the ex’s intent and or directions.
- You are labeled and berated for being the problem in the relationship.
- You have broken up and gotten back together multiple times.
- Decisions seem to be riddled with double bind and no-win situations.
- The children are exhibiting signs of distress.
- You’re struggling to think straight.
- You’re depressed and have had spiked suicidal ideations after “events” in the relationship.
- You feel despair and even hopeless at times.
- You have lost your identity and don’t know who you are anymore.
- Your personality has changed, and the joy you once felt is gone.
- You have been physically attacked by your ex.
- Your ex projects his or her behaviors onto you. The truth is reversed and the script is flipped.
- Your ex plays the victim and goes around making up lies about you.
- You sought marriage counseling and the therapist sided with your ex. Or the therapist focused on irrelevant issues like improving communications instead of the betrayals and deceptive games.
- You are seeing a therapist or you think you need a therapist for your own issues and pattern of broken and painful relationships.
- You come from a dysfunctional family and were scapegoated by narcissistic parents.
- You have a history of overlooking and excusing abusive behavior, playing a codependent role with abusers.
- You are highly creative and empathetic toward others.
- You are intuitive and can feel the emotional state and energy of people.
- You have a high tolerance for abuse, pain, and the indiscretions of others.
- You have been programmed to “suck it up” and deal with it in order to survive.
- The children are put in the position to alternate between conflicting parenting styles, values, and expectations.
- Your ex controls the children and situations even when you have custody and time with them. Instigating “interventions” over the phone or in person to help the children deal with you.
- The children are suffering as a result of mind games.
- The children are being neglected or abused by the ex.
- The children are being exposed to dangerous and unhealthy environments by the ex-spouse.
- You are being slandered and demoralized as a person and a parent by the ex, either directly or indirectly via the children or other people.
- Your parents or other relatives are involved in the mix, somehow supporting you and the children.
- You have a history of being sucker punched and set up by your ex, yet every incident is somehow your fault.
- There is a history of 911 calls, staged events, and false allegations.
- Your ex exhibits a history of mental illness, fits of rage, or “scary” behavior.
- There is a history of lying and deception, possibly even a double life lived by the ex.
- You have been slandered and attacked by, “other people,” whether it be neighbors, family, police, or people in the community.
- You are surprised and appalled at your own behavior.
- You have become reactionary, emotional out of control at times.
- There is a history of affairs or betrayal.
- There is a history of addictions, whether gambling, sex, drugs, food, or other.
- Your ex had a history of triangulation, bringing other people or interests into the picture, causing you to feel jealous or frustrated.
- Your ex has a history of marriage and divorce.
- There have been blended family issues, children of previous marriages. The common denominator being their lack of respect for you.
- You have lost respect for you.
- You need help regaining your self confidence and establishing boundaries.
- You need a strategic plan and support going through the divorce.
- You want to avoid spending money, time, and energy going down legal paths that not only do not produce results but set you up for future failures and loss.
- You are afraid, worried, or have bouts of anxiety.
- You’re having trouble sleeping.
- There are money issues, huge debt, and unpaid bills.
Answering YES to a number of the above questions is an indication that you may be a victim of narcissist abuse. Answering Yes to many of the questions above is sign that trouble is ahead. The good news is; you don’t have to fall prey to the covert schemes of the narcissist ex. There is a lot you can do as you get your footing and move forward in your amazing life ahead. My advice; do not be fooled by current circumstances, your emotions, or apparent no win situations. There is hope and a good future for you and your children. It’s my business to help you turn this toxic bullying “learning experience” into the motivation and realization of a better life ahead. If hanging in there is the best you can do today, then resolve to hang in there long enough to experience the break-through.
My coaching style is geared for practical application and progress. I am not a therapist or licensed psychological counselor. I am not a mediator. I am a coach who can empathize with you and help you develop a simple set of plans to be far more successful than winging it alone. I am a professional divorce coach, with gobs of education and experience dealing with Cluster B personality disorders, . . . Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), Anti-Social Disorder, Psychopathy, etc. The buzzword often used to describe these difficult individuals is, “Narcissism.” Again, I am not a psychologist. I am a coach. My aim is not to diagnose your ex-spouse for their benefit, but to protect you from being blind sided and abused, while your children are used as pawns.
The whole divorce and shared child custody landscape is a mine field. I look back and think, “I wish I had known then, what I know now.” I would have hired me in a heartbeat. Hiring me will be the best money you spend in any divorce. It will most likely save you thousands of dollars in legal fees and keep you from being victimized by some serious heart-breaking crap.
The initial phone assessment and consultation are free. Contact me to set up an appointment. If you decide to move ahead with my coaching, we will get started immediately putting together a plan for you and your family’s success.
Your best friend in divorce,
(916) 870 3434