Rich Miller
Narcissist Divorce Coach
- Coaching support for alienated and targeted parents, dealing with a covert, scheming narcissist ex-spouse.
My name is Rich Miller, and I am a Divorce Coach, helping parents protect themselves from narcissists and recover from worst case scenario divorces.
Bullet Point Characteristics in Worst Case Scenario Divorce:
Dealing with a spouse or ex-spouse who is hell bent on dividing you from your children is nothing less than a nightmare for the targeted parent. I know because I lived it. My experiences are the motivations I now have for helping other people survive and thrive. I have a heart for good parents, and the kids who suffer the tragic exploitation in narcissist divorces. Divorcing a narcissist is like nothing you will ever experience in life! If the marriage was a domination and control nightmare, the divorce will unleash the fury and fear of being exposed and losing control. Most targeted parents report behavior that becomes shockingly evil. By the time many people exit a psychologically abusive and trauma bonded relationship, their resources have been crushed. This is not an overstatement to those having lived it. In addition, they have been isolated and their resources have been systematically bound or destroyed in some way. A seasoned narcissist in the divorce game plans way ahead without letting on who and what they are all about. I am not a coach who learned about this from a text book or seminar, I lived it. I understand the pain and the issues associated with recovery and the road ahead for targeted parents. If I were to give a summary record of the years of traumatic events and insane no win situations I lived through, it would look like a wall of books on the back wall of a law office. I was married one time at age 38. We had triplet boys at age 44. After 15 years of marriage we divorced, and five years later the legal battles continue to roll on with no end in sight. This morning an attorney's estimated an "easy" $60K needed just to get through the next year with the bogus warrant for my arrest, the fraudulent restraining orders, and the barrage of legal motions, hearings, court ordered disclosures, etc. etc. I share this snippet, as a testimony of my rubber meets the road experience. I have analyzed what went wrong, why it went wrong, and have a solid understanding of what not to do. The devastating experience I have is NOT something you will get from a therapist or your attorney. You won't be able to get the experience I have without earning it the hard way. Knowing what to do and why is not intuitive. You are not dealing with a "normal" person in a narcissist divorce. I can help you in any divorce, but in a narcissist divorce with kids you are going to need help! Don't go it alone. I am being redundant and emphatic, . . .If you have any thought that you are dealing with a manipulative game player in a divorce, you are going to need to get some help! It starts with getting an assessment of your situation. Which is an interview style video call or phone conversation that will allow me to quickly identify the red flags, the blind spots, and the black holes in your situation and divorce.
There are 25 million people in the U.S.A. who are dealing with Parental Alienation and the twisted set ups that go with it. These child abusers all work from the same playbook. The patterns are predictable, but not intuitively understood by the targeted parent. Being married to a narcissist didn't happen by accident, the targeted parent was groomed for systematic degradation, confusion, and "use." Targeted parents need an outside guide to lead them out of the maze and onto solid ground in order to see and make good decisions.
Proper assessment and understanding of your situation are the first steps to protection and recovery.
You might liken my coaching to hiring a"Sherpa," before taking an expedition up Mount Everest. A Sherpa is an indigenous guide who knows the terrain and what it takes to survive the climb. They know the required equipment, the best course or path up the mountain, they design a pre-climb physical training regime, and trouble shoot obstacles along the way. A Sherpa has "been there, done that," and sees ahead to keep the climbers safe, successfully getting them from point A to point B.
Divorce can be a confusing and overwhelming process, especially in coming out of a prolonged abusive relationship. It will be a progressive healing and recovery process. Cognitive dissonance is par for the course. Prolonged exposure to trauma and psychological abuse will result in not knowing which end is up. I am not a psychiatrist, therapist or psychologist, . . . and that's an asset since most psychology professionals only understand narcissist abuse from a cursory text book vantage point. I lived it. I understand it and how important it is to lead abuse victims quickly and safely out of harms way at the same time listening and assessing the situation. We won't spend months doing "talk therapy."
It's important to understand that the landscape for divorcing a full tilt malignant narcissist extends far beyond what attorneys and the law can protect you from. Attorney's operate from directives. They practice law, and handle your legal case with intent to get court ordered judgements. They do not help their clients decipher the relationship dynamics, the mind games, or the double bind traps. In fact, the top rated narcissist divorce attorney that I know, Rebecca Zung states; You are responsible for your legal strategy!, NOT your attorney! I completely agree. That's been my experience. If you don't have a clear plan and direction and understand what evidence is required to win your case, you will be throwing money at an attorney only to spin off into endless series of disappointments.
I will help you develop a strategy for safe exit and life moving forward. I will get to know you and your core values, set measurable objectives, and help you process out the emotional hooks that keep you from moving forward. I can help you with such things as how to write emails, establish boundaries, and how to organize your evidence for court. We can even work out a strategic plan for revised custody and legal battles. I will help you communicate better with your attorney. It starts with an assessment and a written summary / snapshot of your situation. There's a whole lot more to being successful in divorce than what happens before a Judge.
Rebecca Zung, a top 1% Divorce attorney specializing in narcissist divorces reports that the average amicable divorce will cost $15K the first year and be done. While a divorce with a narcissist will cost over $60K in the first year and continue on with modifications and crazy legal battles until the children are legal adults. What she doesn't report is the ongoing passive aggressive dynamics, the sabotage and the set ups that require the help of a qualified coach. I will help you know how to deal with police, make reports, guide you through the full gambit of treachery doled out by the narcissist ex.
Everything you do, everything you say, every reaction, every email, text, or voicemail will be used against you. Stuff you never said and never did, will be used against you. Narcissists are liars and master manipulators, highly skilled at building a false narrative and a case against you in the courts. You are going to need to understand the narrative they are running, document it and be able to develop a persuasive narrative that exposes their game. The key to success is being able to illustrate the logical contrast between the narcissist's narrative and reality. A malignant narcissist without a conscience will stop at nothing to create and keep a fight going, and win at all costs. During the relationship they analyzed you psychologically and for every weakness they can exploit. You are going to have to discern between pot shots designed to trigger you and what's important to respond to. There is no such thing as going "no contact" with these creatures. They absolutely will not let you go. Without coaching you have two choices, 1. Roll over and play dead and hope they go away while they stack up lawsuit after lawsuit against you, burying you in chaos and loss, . . . or . . . 2. Fight back and expose them, - which will enrage them and reward their insatiable need to keep you in the fight. You can engage in the battle to defend yourself and fuel their ongoing disordered mindset or you can disengage and look for a more long term or timely strategic game plan. Either way, the kids will be exploited and abused by the narcissist that has any opportunity or access to control the children. They play dirty and absolutely love the fight. It is a double bind situation in the natural. But there is hope and a way out. You will have to establish your own rules for success.
The money invested in divorce coaching will save you thousands on the back end as you move through your divorce or deal with post divorce custody "issues." I will be the emotional support you need and walk with you through the entire process. Call or email me to set up a free consultation.
Rich Miller
Divorce Coach / Narcissist Recovery
(916) 870-3434
Confi4miller@gmail.
- Protecting Legal Freedoms
- Protecting your Parental Rights
- Building a New Life filled with Hope and Joy
Bullet Point Characteristics in Worst Case Scenario Divorce:
- A Covert Scheming Narcissist Ex or soon to be Ex-Spouse.
- Shared Children, - the tool for exploitation, control, and financial gain.
- Parental Alienation, - which is CHILD ABUSE!
- Head Games - a warped need to feed off of misery, chaos, and fighting
- Covert Targeting - Traumatic Events & Vicious Attacks
- Absurd and Ongoing Legal Wranglings in the Courts
- Refusal to Honor Court Ordered Custody Agreements - Double Standards
- Criminal Allegations, Set Ups, and Double Bind Situations
- Domination via Harassment and Stalking
- Coercion, Threats, Manipulation, Bullying Tactics, Trauma, Neglect, Strategic "love crumbs" and empty promises to keep children in line.
- Abuse Cycle: Love Bombing, Devalue, Discard, - Repeat.
- Smear Campaigns, an extensive con-job of social networks and legal agencies, . . .including police, therapists, doctors, family, friends, your children, church, neighbors, etc.
- Isolation of Victims, Neglect and Abuse without Recourse or Detection
- Hypnotic Drama Acting - switching seamlessly per objective
- Cognitive Dissonance - Distress of trying to reconcile two apposing realities, leading to brain fog and confusion.
- Exploitative & Sadistic
- Skilled Blame Shifting, refusal to be accountable or apologize
- Theft - The narcissist will steal or destroy your most valuable items.
- Triangulated relationships with lovers to provoke jealousy and competition
- Flying Monkey's - using other people to do their dirty work
- Flipped Narrative; They Parade as the Victim and Pillar in the community.
- Masters of Manipulation, Word Magic, and Out of Context "Truth"
- Brain Washing, witchcraft level "gas lighting" and mind control.
- Zero Empathy - Obnoxiously callous to the target, while parading as highly concerned, compassionate and kind to the outside world
- Boundless Sense of Entitlement - Expecting to be served and admired
- Pathological Lying without concern or conscience.
Dealing with a spouse or ex-spouse who is hell bent on dividing you from your children is nothing less than a nightmare for the targeted parent. I know because I lived it. My experiences are the motivations I now have for helping other people survive and thrive. I have a heart for good parents, and the kids who suffer the tragic exploitation in narcissist divorces. Divorcing a narcissist is like nothing you will ever experience in life! If the marriage was a domination and control nightmare, the divorce will unleash the fury and fear of being exposed and losing control. Most targeted parents report behavior that becomes shockingly evil. By the time many people exit a psychologically abusive and trauma bonded relationship, their resources have been crushed. This is not an overstatement to those having lived it. In addition, they have been isolated and their resources have been systematically bound or destroyed in some way. A seasoned narcissist in the divorce game plans way ahead without letting on who and what they are all about. I am not a coach who learned about this from a text book or seminar, I lived it. I understand the pain and the issues associated with recovery and the road ahead for targeted parents. If I were to give a summary record of the years of traumatic events and insane no win situations I lived through, it would look like a wall of books on the back wall of a law office. I was married one time at age 38. We had triplet boys at age 44. After 15 years of marriage we divorced, and five years later the legal battles continue to roll on with no end in sight. This morning an attorney's estimated an "easy" $60K needed just to get through the next year with the bogus warrant for my arrest, the fraudulent restraining orders, and the barrage of legal motions, hearings, court ordered disclosures, etc. etc. I share this snippet, as a testimony of my rubber meets the road experience. I have analyzed what went wrong, why it went wrong, and have a solid understanding of what not to do. The devastating experience I have is NOT something you will get from a therapist or your attorney. You won't be able to get the experience I have without earning it the hard way. Knowing what to do and why is not intuitive. You are not dealing with a "normal" person in a narcissist divorce. I can help you in any divorce, but in a narcissist divorce with kids you are going to need help! Don't go it alone. I am being redundant and emphatic, . . .If you have any thought that you are dealing with a manipulative game player in a divorce, you are going to need to get some help! It starts with getting an assessment of your situation. Which is an interview style video call or phone conversation that will allow me to quickly identify the red flags, the blind spots, and the black holes in your situation and divorce.
There are 25 million people in the U.S.A. who are dealing with Parental Alienation and the twisted set ups that go with it. These child abusers all work from the same playbook. The patterns are predictable, but not intuitively understood by the targeted parent. Being married to a narcissist didn't happen by accident, the targeted parent was groomed for systematic degradation, confusion, and "use." Targeted parents need an outside guide to lead them out of the maze and onto solid ground in order to see and make good decisions.
Proper assessment and understanding of your situation are the first steps to protection and recovery.
You might liken my coaching to hiring a"Sherpa," before taking an expedition up Mount Everest. A Sherpa is an indigenous guide who knows the terrain and what it takes to survive the climb. They know the required equipment, the best course or path up the mountain, they design a pre-climb physical training regime, and trouble shoot obstacles along the way. A Sherpa has "been there, done that," and sees ahead to keep the climbers safe, successfully getting them from point A to point B.
Divorce can be a confusing and overwhelming process, especially in coming out of a prolonged abusive relationship. It will be a progressive healing and recovery process. Cognitive dissonance is par for the course. Prolonged exposure to trauma and psychological abuse will result in not knowing which end is up. I am not a psychiatrist, therapist or psychologist, . . . and that's an asset since most psychology professionals only understand narcissist abuse from a cursory text book vantage point. I lived it. I understand it and how important it is to lead abuse victims quickly and safely out of harms way at the same time listening and assessing the situation. We won't spend months doing "talk therapy."
It's important to understand that the landscape for divorcing a full tilt malignant narcissist extends far beyond what attorneys and the law can protect you from. Attorney's operate from directives. They practice law, and handle your legal case with intent to get court ordered judgements. They do not help their clients decipher the relationship dynamics, the mind games, or the double bind traps. In fact, the top rated narcissist divorce attorney that I know, Rebecca Zung states; You are responsible for your legal strategy!, NOT your attorney! I completely agree. That's been my experience. If you don't have a clear plan and direction and understand what evidence is required to win your case, you will be throwing money at an attorney only to spin off into endless series of disappointments.
I will help you develop a strategy for safe exit and life moving forward. I will get to know you and your core values, set measurable objectives, and help you process out the emotional hooks that keep you from moving forward. I can help you with such things as how to write emails, establish boundaries, and how to organize your evidence for court. We can even work out a strategic plan for revised custody and legal battles. I will help you communicate better with your attorney. It starts with an assessment and a written summary / snapshot of your situation. There's a whole lot more to being successful in divorce than what happens before a Judge.
Rebecca Zung, a top 1% Divorce attorney specializing in narcissist divorces reports that the average amicable divorce will cost $15K the first year and be done. While a divorce with a narcissist will cost over $60K in the first year and continue on with modifications and crazy legal battles until the children are legal adults. What she doesn't report is the ongoing passive aggressive dynamics, the sabotage and the set ups that require the help of a qualified coach. I will help you know how to deal with police, make reports, guide you through the full gambit of treachery doled out by the narcissist ex.
Everything you do, everything you say, every reaction, every email, text, or voicemail will be used against you. Stuff you never said and never did, will be used against you. Narcissists are liars and master manipulators, highly skilled at building a false narrative and a case against you in the courts. You are going to need to understand the narrative they are running, document it and be able to develop a persuasive narrative that exposes their game. The key to success is being able to illustrate the logical contrast between the narcissist's narrative and reality. A malignant narcissist without a conscience will stop at nothing to create and keep a fight going, and win at all costs. During the relationship they analyzed you psychologically and for every weakness they can exploit. You are going to have to discern between pot shots designed to trigger you and what's important to respond to. There is no such thing as going "no contact" with these creatures. They absolutely will not let you go. Without coaching you have two choices, 1. Roll over and play dead and hope they go away while they stack up lawsuit after lawsuit against you, burying you in chaos and loss, . . . or . . . 2. Fight back and expose them, - which will enrage them and reward their insatiable need to keep you in the fight. You can engage in the battle to defend yourself and fuel their ongoing disordered mindset or you can disengage and look for a more long term or timely strategic game plan. Either way, the kids will be exploited and abused by the narcissist that has any opportunity or access to control the children. They play dirty and absolutely love the fight. It is a double bind situation in the natural. But there is hope and a way out. You will have to establish your own rules for success.
The money invested in divorce coaching will save you thousands on the back end as you move through your divorce or deal with post divorce custody "issues." I will be the emotional support you need and walk with you through the entire process. Call or email me to set up a free consultation.
Rich Miller
Divorce Coach / Narcissist Recovery
(916) 870-3434
Confi4miller@gmail.