These are just some of the many bits of wisdom I learned from my narcissist ex. The list is intended to be a bit humorous and some of the ideas or “policies” have useful application. Other "bits" are manipulative, and on the verge of being criminal. You be the judge. The funny thing is, I started to make this a Top 10 List, but in a matter of minutes it became a Top 31 List, and I had to stop there. It’s amazing how much you can learn from a malignant narcissist if you're paying attention.
1. Share information only on a need to know basis. Your need for them to know, not their need to know.
2. It’s not that things costs too much, it’s that you just don’t make enough money.
3. Fake it until you make it. Act as if, and its as if you had. The difference is mute.
4. The mental institution is a hotel for the homeless or those that just need a break. And the fringe benefits are phenomenal, especially if your planning to go on disability.
5. Never admit to anything. And look people in the eye when your lying.
6. It’s not lying if you forgot that part. Most of the time, the other guy is at fault for not listening.
7. Always ask yourself if you can handle the worst-case scenario, when making choices.
8. Always have two or three workable and ready exit plans.
9. Prepare your your answers ahead of time. Create standard responses for everything you can think of. For example; Don't just say, "no, I can't right now". . . say, "I am sorry, I've already allocated all my charitable donations for the year."
10. It’s never a gambling addiction. It’s stress release, good entertainment, and with all the VIP rewards I am actually making money.
11. It’s not wrong to live a secret life, if you don’t get caught.
12. Why rebuild your credit when you can just get a business license, incorporate in Delaware online for 150 bucks, and then open a credit card, buy a car, or whatever you want. . . and if you can’t make the payments, you just walk away and start over again. The business owes the money, you don't.
13. Who needs credit scores when you can find someone with credit to make all your purchases.
14. Pay for everything on credit just in case you need to file bankruptcy in the future.
15. Never put your name on shared property in a marriage, if you divorce it’s yours by law. If you foreclose on it, your credit isn’t affected.
16. Never bother with premarital counseling or classes.
17. Make sure you have car insurance before you file a claim. If you don’t, you can always get it, and then file the claim.
18. Always spring the really bad news on people after they have already committed to the purchase, the marriage or business relationship. Then frame it in light of the future R.O.I. as if it's in the bank. For example, just before you tie the knot, meet up for lunch, love bomb the guy and keep the energy high, and then spring a little $70K tax bill owed to the franchise tax board as if its no big deal in light of love and an eternity together. Make sure to blame it on the "homey" ex husband who screwed you when closing the business.
19. Documentation beats conversation every day of the weak. If its in writing, people believe it.
20. When writing legal letters or corresponding with a client, write everything as if a Judge will be reading it.
21. I am right all the time, your only right when you agree.
22. Christianity is the best religion, because it’s all about grace and love. If someone calls you on your stuff, you simply tell them, “thou shalt not judge!” But, when you need your husband to foot the bill for your granddaughter’s elaborate and over the top birthday party, it’s easy enough to preach a message of love and generosity and bully-guilt your way into getting what you want. Its easy to play both sides of the fence with Christianity.
23. "Saved," means I am no longer accountable for anything I have done in my past. I am forgiven, blessed, and highly favored by God.
24. Children are a blessing and a financial cash cow for those who understand the system.
25. Managing perceptions is the number one work skill.
26. Keep your life private from everyone at work. Refuse to participate in all drinking or socializing after work, should someone find out something about you and take offense.
27. Keep a wad of hundred dollar bills in your wallet to feel wealthy, and it will pump you up and make you wealthy.
28. Spend it all, it’s easy to make more money.
29. Facts don't matter. People buy emotionally.
30. As a man thinketh, so is he. If you feel it and believe it, its real.
30. Buy gifts for people if you want them to do something for you, it’s cheaper than paying for things.
31. I am a highly creative person. I come up with the ideas. It beats doing all the work.